To Hell – 16-Bit does Noisia

This is what comes up when you type "Rapist Robot Zombies" into Google Image

Imagine a movie where 40 foot half man half robot pedophile zombies attack the earth… Then imagine of something more terrifying… then imagine the soundtrack… You there? Well imagine no more. The soundtrack is here.

Being in essence a DnB nut from when I was just basically a kid made me think that Noisia where “The best that ever did it” when it came to production filth perfection, but now it pains me to say this… But the DubStep boys got them on the ropes with this one.

The original sounds like what music Metallica would make if they happened to be robots with synths for biceps and a distotion units for faces. Listen for yourselves…

Noisia – Machine Gun

But the 16-bit remix sounds like… well… even bigger production equipment based robots raping another bigger more angry production equipment based robot. Check out the second drop… Seriously the heaviest thing I have ever heard…

Noisia – Machine Gun – 16-bit Remix

A few verbal reactions to this could be:

“I have just shit and sicked at the same time”

“I have just shit my pants… several times”

“Fuck the sun!!!!!”

“This music hurts my feelings!!”

You may have said something else, I would love to hear what that something was… Comment me yeah??

As a bonus, thought I might give you another 16-bit masterpiece, Not as heavy… Not as good… But it gives a nod to another favourite artist of mine… The crazy Israeli himself… Borgore… Btw… this ain’t DubStep… This is GoreStep baby. Enjoy people…

Borgore – Foes – 16-bit Fuck Hoes Remix

and relax…

DISCLAIMER: I claim no responsibility for anyone who breaks their neighbours window box, or stabs a tramp… (or anything equally as mean) due to listening to the angry music on my blog

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From Heaven… Russ Chimes does Ellie Goulding

Ellie.. Practicing her shotput technique?

Russ Chimes makes me wet… Simple… Not an image you want in your head… Not even an image I want in my head… But it’s true…

This was all over the blogs now within a couple of nano seconds of it being posted on DiscoDust. Unfortunately I seem to have too much of a life at the moment to get these things posted as soon as I hear about them… and for that I’m truly sorry because this is a little bit special.

Ellie Goulding has been in every “Ones to watch” list out there… and rightly so, She seems to be a great female pop act with no gimmicks… for once.  So when I heard that Russ Chimes was doing a remix of her new single “Starry Eyes” I got a bit excited… and when I heard it… “Shit… The…Bed”… and I don’t say that often (actually, I say it all the time but I rarely mean it.)

Listen and fall in love… then realise the reason for my dampness

Just to prove what a ridiculous stalker fan I am of this man… Here is a picture of me and him… (why do I do this to myself.)

Russ and Creasey sitting in a tree...

Postmen Should Watch Their (Dub)Step

"I collect children"

This tune is like pineapple on pizza. The concept sounds terrible… The actual outcome is one of life’s rare opportunities to surprise and enlighten, but at the same time not being to everyone’s taste.  BTW… I fucking hate pineapple on pizza, but you get the idea.

This guy looks about 12 but makes good solid dubstep but has really made something that works with this tune. Who would have thought a loop of the Supremes singing “please” could sound so dynamic and fresh… It does, so listen to it and if you don’t like it i don’t hate you… But you are wrong.

Cragga – Mr Postman (Rapidshare)

More Russians Mek Man a HoT HoT HoT

After a drunken night talking about leading to a hungover bored morning listening to a documentary on… the Amen break (I’m so fucking cool).  Few days later the discovery of www.raggajungle.biz cemented the fact that I pissing… love… jungle.

Seems the Russians are the ones to watch when it comes to everything electronic these days so I might as well jump on the trans Siberian bandwagon… HoT seems to have a bit of a talent for  turning anything he gets his hands on into a big bashy mashup rave brock out monster.

Below is my favourite track and a promo mix that will blow your tiny little balls off…

His SoundCloud site has most of his tunes to listen to (But not download unfortunately) so plunge yourself nuts deep into the jungle sound.

Russian Men Cause English Man’s Uncomfortable Underwear Situation

Doesn't matter if you're black or white

Doesn't matter if you're black or white... Russian

Since starting this blog I have been waiting for Tesla Boy to release something so I can rave on like a mental about how good they are without being “So 4 seconds ago”… As is the nature of the game in blogspace.  So imagine my pant tightening joy when this was announced on their FaceBook page (first as far as i know) A remix of the already great (albeitnotasgreatastheGrumremixbutthat’sanotherstory) Nightdrive with You by long standing Valerie contributor Anoraak.

Anoraak – Nightdrive With You (Tesla Boy Remix)

Anoraak – Nightdrive With You (Grum Remix)

Official verdict… Do I like it?… Does the guy from Keane look like Little Lord Fauntleroy?… That means yes. But it ain’t quite as stunning as their original work.

Tesla Boy Myspace

If my brain was the world (don’t worry, that isn’t likely) then this band would be at number one in the charts everytime they released something (Followed closely by Miami Horror at number 2… I could go on… trust me I could)

The next thing to tick off my “list of things I would like to happen in the world of electropop” is that whoever refused their visa the last time they were meant to play in the UK would change their mind so London town can see what they are really made of…Although I fear that might be as likely as using the sentence “I’ve just washed my nob, we should probably leave” as a successful chat up line in a club.

Until next time…

From Droid to Zoid (RIP Keith Floyd?)

Not often in ones short existence does one come across a piece of music that makes you want to stick your arms out and run around the room pretending to a plane quite as much as this… Just me?

Take Tom Neville, Serge Santiago and a cult late 70’s synth classic add some 80’s cartoon robots shooting lasers from their mouths and you get…

Retro/Grade – Zoid

To be fair its only bit better than the original… Actually quite a bit, updated synths and production sparkle of the two mildly great men…Actually, decide for yourself…

Now, i suppose i should mention something regarding Keith Floyd as he is mentioned in what I like to call “One line title poetry” or you might call “A gash title”.  Here is a clip of a French women telling him his food is shit. RIP

Cool? Bye!

And for my First Trick… ChromeOMG!!

 
 
2step 2step 2step

What you wanna call it? 2step 2step 2step

See I never thought I would ever be one of those people who was so obsessed with anything that their friends had to have “the talk” with you before you started having delusions that you would much rather perform an obscene act upon a close family member than lose said thing out of your life, but i think that time might have come… Not to perform an obscene act on a loved one, but for my friends (if they truly are my friends) to intervene. But until they do, my love affair with Chromeo will continue.

 Now, I’m not one to teach or preach about anything… so I won’t. If you want to know more about them then I suggest you read a blog that starts with the following

“Montreal based electrofunk….”

“Talkbox wielding synthpopers” (actually I like that one…)

or

“Dave (Dave Maklovitch) 1  and Pee (Patrick Gemayel) Thug..”

for more information. All I’m gonna do is say is listen to their new track (link below) then listen to everything else that they have ever made, then listen to all the remixes ever made, then once you have done that, let me know, and we can all relax, safe in the knowledge that Chromeo are by far the best thing to happen to music… ever (I don’t actually believe that… much)

Chromeo – Night By Night, download link

Chromeo – Night by Night (Skream remix) From Annie Mac’s (good apart from when she speaks) radio show

Actually, to prove the obsession even more (I have no idea why I am doing this to myself) follow the link below and see that this isn’t the first time the madness has been realised in blog form.

 Over 50 Chromeo remixes… ranked in order

 In the words of the man that shares the same facial features as a walnut’s scrotum… First blog… Done